he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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