Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
