he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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