she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
