Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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