You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
