I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
