escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
