I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
