at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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