best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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