What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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