apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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