He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
