U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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