YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
