is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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