The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Randomize
