It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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