So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
How external is "for external use only"?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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