Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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