i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
