remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
