you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
