my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
