In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
