HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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