i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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