I hate your face
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
