One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
