I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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