Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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