Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Randomize
