I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
