You're my little dorito
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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