Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Randomize
