Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
