I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
