normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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