Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
