p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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