After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
