I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
