I cockslap morals
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
