i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Randomize
