you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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