she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
