I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
