Me too!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
sarcasm needs its own font
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
