she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
