As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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