Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
