if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Randomize
