Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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