Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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